Plastic Gods, A Rich Coleman Novel Vol 2 Page 5

  Chapter 3

  The phones began ringing before eight o'clock the day after the infomercial ran. The receptionist handed Matt eleven voice mail messages. When the phone came off service, it was all the entire staff could do just to keep up with it. In the afternoon the barrage of calls tapered off and Matt and Lynn began to assess the success of the ad.

  "Look at this. We set up seventeen appointments this week. Can you believe it?" Lynn said.

  "God, how will I do all these bankruptcies?"

  "Hey, if it keeps up this good, you'll have to hire some more attorneys. Eventually you won't have to see clients at all. You can just supervise the operation."

  "I know, but now I've got seventeen bankruptcies to do in the next five days."

  "Well, you wanted a cash cow. Now you just have to learn how to milk it effectively. . . . How did the other offices do?"

  "The same as us. They're booked solid for two weeks."

  "Wow. I should call Dad."

  "Good idea."

  Matt went to the phone and dialed the number.

  "Hey, did you see our TV spot?" Matt asked.

  "What was that, anyway? I couldn't tell if it was a campaign rally or a sermon. It certainly wasn't a legal advertisement."

  "I know, Dad. Our other ad wasn't going anywhere so we had to try something different."

  "I can't imagine the State Bar Advertising Committee approved the ad."

  "They didn't."

  "What?"

  "We didn't have time and we knew they wouldn't approve it."

  "But Matt, that's stupid. They're going to be all over you."

  "The station manager referred me to an expert on legal advertising and he told me with the format we used it wasn't really advertising. We never once solicited any business. It was simply a community service broadcast protected by the First Amendment."

  "Maybe so, but the message was clear that you wanted them to call you."

  "No, the message at the end of the broadcast simply gave the name of our firm and our telephone number. We never asked anybody to call us."

  "Well, if you think the State Bar is going to let you get by with that, I think you're very naive."

  "Maybe so, but I've got the best First Amendment lawyer in Texas ready to respond to anything the State Bar throws at us."

  "I hope he's as good as you think he is."

  "He is, so don't worry about it, Dad. . . . Now, aside from the unorthodox approach what do you think?"

  "It was very persuasive, but I think you've oversimplified the problem. People need credit sometimes."

  "True, but the banks and mortgage companies have crossed the line. They've become obsessed the last fifteen or twenty years with milking every last dollar out of the American people at whatever cost. It's time it stopped."

  "Maybe so, but to suggest bankruptcy is a solution is rather extreme, if not downright irresponsible. You should go into politics if you feel so strongly about it. Maybe in Austin or Washington you could help change the system."

  "I doubt it. The only way to change it is for the people to rebel. They've got to hurt Wall Street in the pocketbook. That's the only language those people up there understand."

  "Be careful, Matt. If they get hurt, they'll be looking for revenge. Don't let this thing get out of hand."

  "I won't, Dad. I've got all the business I can handle so I won't be making any more waves. Lynn and I figure if the volume of business we're getting this week continues, we'll easily gross more than a million bucks. That's plenty. So all we have to do now is maintenance advertising, just a few spots each week."

  "Well, I’m glad to hear that. I personally don't know why you need that kind of money anyway."

  "Oh, don't worry, Dad," Matt laughed. "We'll figure out how to spend it."

  For several weeks it took Matt and Lynn's every waking hour just to handle the business that was flowing in. Matt hired three new attorneys and five paralegals just to keep up with the voluminous paperwork generated by the ad campaign. Then one afternoon Matt got a phone call from the prominent radio talk show host, Mitchell Banks.

  "I really love your ad campaign, Matt. May I call you Matt?"

  "Sure, everybody does."

  "When I first saw your infomercial, I was flabbergasted. I had never realized what a number Wall Street was doing to the American people. What you said made so much sense, it was incredible."

  "Well, actually we got the idea from a professor over at SMU. He has been preaching about the compound interest scam to his classes for years. I guess my wife, Lynn, is the first student who paid any attention to it."

  "Well, it's very interesting and I want you to be on the show to explain it."

  "Really?"

  "Yes, absolutely. You're the talk of the town right now and I'd like to ask you some questions and let my audience do the same. It should be very interesting."

  "Hmm. I don't know. I better talk it over with my wife and my Dad. You know how the State Bar watches everything you do. You can't be too careful."

  "Well, that's one of the questions I wanted to ask you. How is the State Bar taking it?"

  "I think we threw them a curve by not making any direct solicitation of business in the ad. I haven't heard from them at all."

  "Lucky for you. . . . Well, will you do it?"

  "I guess it couldn't hurt. It's a free country and I suppose I have a right to talk about whatever I want."

  "Well, I hope so."

  "Okay then. I'll do it."

  "Fine. My people will be in touch to make the arrangements."

  Lynn eyes lit up when Matt told her about the radio interview. She hadn't expected it. She listened intently to Matt's account of the conversation. She knew it was a dream come true for an ad to be so good it becomes news itself.

  "I can't believe Mitchell Banks called you!"

  "Why, what's so great about that?"

  "He's only the number one talk show host in Dallas, Matt. Come on! Where have you been?"

  "I don't listen to talk shows."

  "Well a lot of people do and he's got the biggest audience in the Metroplex."

  "He seemed like a nice guy."

  "We're going to have to really prepare you for this interview."

  "Prepare me?"

  "Yes, he's going to ask you some very probing questions. I don't think right now you could pull this interview off. Maybe Professor Swensen will help me get you ready."

  "You think so? He's got to be an extremely busy person."

  "He is, but you've become his spokesman. For years he's been spouting off this theory and nobody has taken him seriously. But now you've managed to get the attention of the people of North Texas. He'll be delighted to help; I can assure you. We'll just have to be sure he gets the credit he deserves."

  "I already told Mr. Banks about the professor so that shouldn't be a problem. The fact that a college professor came up with the theory should actually add considerable credibility to it, don't you think?"

  "Yes, of course. I'm sure he's got lots of documentation and statistics to back up everything you've been saying. I'll call and talk to him this afternoon. I'm so excited. This is wonderful news."

  "You know what's funny?"

  "What?"

  "When I was talking to him, I actually started believing some of the shit I’ve been preaching."

  Lynn laughed. "Well you should, it's true and it's about time people started realizing it."

  The Debt Relief Centers did so well over the coming weeks, Matt and Lynn opened up two new Metroplex offices to help handle the steady volume of business. They also hired a full time accountant to manage the firm's finances, which had become a full time job. They were also getting calls from attorneys around the state wanting to utilize the Debt Relief Center marketing approach and inquiring if franchises were available. All of this was a little overwhelming for Matt but Lynn was eating it up.

  As the radio interview with Mitchell Banks drew near, Lynn took Matt to see Prof
essor Swensen. As she predicted, he accepted with alacrity her request for help. For three solid days the three went over the professor's theories and backup documentation. As the professor shared his data, Matt and Lynn became more and more convinced of the veracity of the professor's theories. When the radio talk show began, Matt was ready.

  "All right folks, this is what you've been waiting for. We've got attorney Matt Coleman here with us today. As you recall, Matt recently embarked on a revolutionary advertising campaign for bankruptcy lawyers. Essentially he's saying we should all file bankruptcy. Is that right Matt?"

  "Well, no, of course not. What I'm saying is that many Americans are caught in a web that has paralyzed them. No matter how hard they work, no matter how frugally they live, they cannot extricate themselves from this money-sucking-web called compound interest."

  "Well, interest isn't anything new. It's the price you pay to borrow money. So, what exactly are you referring to?"

  "Madison Avenue has done a great job convincing the American people they should buy now and pay later. They told us we can afford the best right now simply by paying for it over time. This has been done intentionally without regard to what's good for the people. It's totally profit-motivated."

  "Okay, so now the American people should get even by filing bankruptcy, is that what you're saying?"

  "I'm saying if you're hopelessly in debt and realistically can never get out of the compound-interest trap, then you have the perfect right to file bankruptcy. And you shouldn't feel bad about it because you've been the victim of a devious campaign to enslave you economically."

  "Wow! That's pretty extreme, don't you think?"

  "Not really. I believe it's the truth."

  "You're telling us that the banks, mortgage companies, and other financial institutions in this country are consciously formulating and implementing policies to keep Americans in debt."

  "Exactly. Look at the flood of credit card applications that come in the mail. They know if they tempt you enough they'll catch you in a weak moment and you'll fill in the application. They call you at home wanting you to open up an account. They accost you at the supermarket, at the airport, and in the department stores. They know once you have that little piece of plastic, you've been hooked. How long did it take you to max out the last credit card you got?"

  "About a week or two," Banks laughed.

  "You see?"

  "Okay, but these people are over twenty-one. Nobody is putting a gun to their head."

  "What they have is more powerful than a gun. It's an addiction. Just like the tobacco industry for years pulled the wool over the American public's collective eye, so have the banks and financial institutions in this country failed to warn the American people of the devastating, debilitating effects of credit and compound interest on their lives."

  "Those are pretty strong words; don't you think?'

  "No, what do you think is the leading cause of divorce?"

  "I don't know—infidelity?"

  "Wrong, it's money. Specifically, the lack of money because the government, the banks, and other financial institutions of this country are bleeding the American people dry. Middle-class Americans are literally living lives of poverty while they send billions of dollars to the fat corporations on Wall Street."

  "Well, the phones are lighting up so we better start taking some calls. . . . This is Mitchell Banks. You're on the air."

  "Mitchell, this is Ernie from Carrollton."

  "Hi, Ernie. What do you have on your mind?"

  "I think Matt has hit the nail on the head. My wife and I work our tails off every month trying to make ends meet and it's virtually impossible. After I heard Matt's commercial I figured it up and we're living on $800 a month and paying $1300 on interest payments."

  "Well, that certainly doesn't sound good," Banks said.

  "And you know," Matt added, "that doesn't even take into consideration taxes does it?"

  "No," the caller replied.

  "So, you're actually living on five or six hundred dollars."

  "Exactly."

  "Does that make you mad?"

  "Yes, I'm pissed."

  "All right, let's hear from another caller," Banks said. "Okay, this is Mitchell Banks and you're on the air."

  "Hi, Mitch, this is Frank from Plano. Listen. I work for a bank and frankly, I'm offended by Mr. Coleman's remarks. I'm not part of any conspiracy to rip off the American people."

  "Well, I'm glad we have another viewpoint. Let me ask you, Frank, if someone is hopelessly in debt, do you think they should file bankruptcy?"

  "No, we have what's called the American Consumer Counseling Service or ACCS. This is a nonprofit organization designed to help consumers establish a budget and manage their debt responsibly. Bankruptcy is a ten-year mistake."

  Matt chuckled.

  "You're laughing, Matt," Banks said. "You obviously don't agree with the caller."

  "ACCS is a fraud."

  "A fraud?"

  "You heard me. They're Wall Street's way of dealing with people who have been milked dry. Instead of letting them file bankruptcy like they need to do, they came up with ACCS to try to keep them in the system. You see, the ACCS counselors show them how they can cut their meager little budgets even more and continue to feed the banks and mortgage companies the 18 to 25 percent interest that they demand. You know, there used to be usury laws in this country and it was illegal to get a second lien on your homestead, but not anymore. The banking and finance lobby is so strong, usury laws are gone and now lenders can even steal the equity in your homestead. There's no protection at all for the average consumer."

  “So, you think it was a mistake to repeal the constitutional prohibition on borrowing money on a homestead?”

  “Oh God, yes. Now, every day, consumers are barraged with advertisements for debt consolidation loans. They are loans supposedly designed to get you out of the interest-trap, but they are just new loans that will do nothing but exacerbate the situation. The sad aspect of home equity lending is that many consumers will become homeless when they get to the point they can’t make the payments on the home equity loan anymore.”

  "Wow. Very enlightening. . . . All right, folks," Banks said. "Our time is up. Thank you, Matt Coleman, for a very interesting interview. Good luck with your new bankruptcy practice.

  “Okay, everybody . . . Stay tuned for our next guest on the Mitchell Banks Show, Dr. Phyllis Wakefield, to tell us about her new book entitled, There's No Shame in Lying."

  Matt got up, shook hands with Mr. Banks and then went backstage where Lynn was waiting. When she saw him, she ran up and gave him a big hug and kiss.

  "You were great, honey. I'm so proud of you."

  "You think so?"

  "Oh yes, everybody in the studio commented how persuasive your arguments were. One of the sound men came up to me and made an appointment to come in to file bankruptcy."

  "You're kidding?"

  "No."

  "Well good, the day wasn't a total waste of time then."

  "Hardly, I just don't know what we're going to do if we get any more business, though. We can't keep up with what we already have."

  "Maybe we should refer some over to Dad."

  "Good idea. I'll tell the receptionist if we get booked too far out to refer clients to your father for a while."

  "I'd like to be there to see his face when the phone starts ringing off the hook. He's going to hate me."

  "Hate you? He should be grateful for your generosity."

  "I know, but he may not see it that way."

  "Too bad."

  "You know I'm exhausted from all our preparations for this show and everything. Why don't we take the rest of the day of and go home and, you know . . . take a nap?"

  Lynn smiled and replied, "You know what we really should do is take a vacation. You've been working fourteen hours a day for the last few months. You need some time off."

  "True, but do you think the staff can handle things witho
ut us?"

  "I should hope so. If not, then we're nothing but slaves to the law practice we've created. I thought the idea was to get rich so we could enjoy the finer things in life."

  "Okay then," Matt said. "Where should we go?"

  "Somewhere far away where there aren't any telephones."

  "Hawaii?"

  "Yeah, Hawaii's nice but it's a tourist trap. My Dad was telling me about a place in Alaska where they fly you into a magnificent lake surrounded by snowcapped mountains. They leave you there all alone for a week and then come and get you. He says it’s the most beautiful place on earth and this time of year the temperature is in the sixties and seventies."

  "A week all alone, just you and me and no phones. When do we leave?"

  "With a little luck we could be out there by the weekend."

  "Good, I'm ready."